An Open Letter to Call Me Maybe

Dear "Call Me Maybe",

I used to consider myself a fairly intelligent person. I read books. I pretended I needed glasses. I used the word “seemingly”…correctly most of the time. I watched documentaries with subtitles. I mean I didn’t enjoy them but I watched them.  I tasted wine and then slowly swished it around in the glass muttering things like “can you feel those rich notes dance on your tongue?” I might even venture to say that people don’t like to invite me to parties because I always have the most interesting historical trivia. But now I’m not that person that I used to be and it’s your entire bubbly, infectious fault, "Call Me Maybe".

I will never forget the first time I heard you, your brain washing melody dripped out of my roommate’s iPhone speaker. I scoffed at you. “HA!”,  I said as I took a sip of my black coffee with a dash of pretension stirred in, “this song is so stupid.” Then something awful and wonderful happened. As you transitioned into the chorus, I felt an almost "Freaky Friday" change come over me. Within those 3 minutes and 13 seconds I had become a completely different person. There is now a pile of rainbow glitter where my cold, judgmental heart used to lie. I don’t walk anymore, I sashay. I call my friends things like “baby girl” and say “totes” with reckless abandon. My ringtone is just a recording of a little kid telling me to have an awesome day. I only wear colors that match the bubble gum I’m using to blow flirty bubbles. The most alarming thing I’ve realized is I am definitely not the only person that this has happened to. My best friend’s boyfriend, "American Chopper cast member look alike with a passion for Duck Dynasty", even wiggles to it. The entire town has turned into a giant dance sequence in a subpar movie and I effing love it.

I guess in short, "Call Me Maybe", thank you. Thank you for allowing the world to shed their converse tennis shoes and inhibitions, start drawing hearts over the I’s on their rent checks, and really live.

Sincerely with Kisses, Colored Eyeliner, and Kitten Smiles,

Katherine